Vampires vs Wolves
by XLeahClearwaterX
Summary: This takes place during New Moon. What it would have been like if Alice showed up late. Warning: Not a happy story. :


**This takes place during New Moon; it's what would have happened if Alice had sown up late. This isn't a very happy story, but I assure you it will get better. There is some mild language, so be aware! Hope everyone enjoys!**

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"Alice! Our plane leaves in thirty minutes!" I growled at my sister. Only a second ago, she had seen a vision of Bella jumping off a cliff. Of course, Alice's visions didn't include the thoughts of the ones she saw, so we had no way of knowing the reason for Bella wanting to kill herself. Despite what my family was thinking, I knew the reason for Bella wanting to kill herself. She was in a deep depression because of my departure. I knew exactly how she was feeling, only I felt that pain thousands of times stronger. Even now, when I thought of leaving Bella, I still didn't know why I hadn't killed myself. The pain was so terrible, so excruciating.

_It's fine, Edward. We'll make it._ Alice chanted over and over in her head, trying to calm me down and reassure me. But there was no point in her doing this. No matter what she said, I would be a nervous wreck until we got back to Forks and made sure Bella was okay. If she wasn't it would be all my fault. And then, well, I would just have to take my life. There was no use in living a life where Bella didn't exist. It was hard enough living in a world where she did exist, but wasn't with me.

We made it to the airport in record time; it only took us seven minutes. We ran slightly faster than we should have. But I couldn't help it. I would not let the worst mistake of my life be the cause of Bella's death.

"This way, Edward," Alice calmly pointed out to me. She was much too calm and in control for my liking. Why wasn't she on the verge of hysterics like I was?

Once we were on the plane, I decided we would be in Forks soon enough so I could go into hysterics. The flight from Oregon from to Forks was only an hour or so, and I figured Alice would be able to handle an hour of my panicking.

Carlisle And Esme weren't exactly huge supporters of our trip to Forks. They would always be okay with what I wanted and thought was necessary, but they didn't think this visit would be healthy for me. They both had their doubts about Bella's near future, and they worried what that would do to me. Esme was certain I would take the same route as Bella, but Carlisle had more faith in me than her, as usual. He believed in me too strongly.

Rose and Jasper were thoroughly against me going to try to save Bella. They both thought that I needed to forget her and move on. But they had no clue how tied to her I was; how much I needed her. They had lived with me for the last few months and had seen how I had taken to life without her, but were still against this trip.

Alice - to no one's surprise - was for anything that involved seeing Bella. Like everyone else, she worried about me constantly and wondered what this trip would do to me. Even if Bella did live, which I doubted - I had no clue what I would do. Would I drop to my knees and beg her to bring me back? Or would I just leave again, and hope she would be able to repair herself? The second option seemed cruel and unlikely.

And then there was Emmett, who didn't really care either way. He loved me, so he wanted what was best for me. He just hoped everything worked out for the best. He liked Bella even more than he led on, and he worried about her just for his own sake.

I looked to my right to see Alice-eyes closed, sitting crossed-legged and deep in thought. I did the same, and watched the future with Alice. It was like we were watching our own private movie, but it was much more nerve wracking.

It was almost noon when we arrived in Forks. Alice and I had no clue where to start; should we go straight to her house and tell her to stop trying to kill herself? But what if she wasn't at home and she was planning to kill herself somewhere else? What if we missed saving her by just a second.

"Alice, what do you see?" I asked my sister as quickly as I could manage. Time was everything at the moment.

She closed her eyes once more and concentrated. On the plane, she had seen dim decisions that Bella made, but as she kept looking, the visions got even more dim, and they eventually went away. Alice reassured me that Bella was still alive; she would have seen that big of a decision. But how could I trust her when she was blind? I was going mad.

Nothing. What the _hell_ was I supposed to do with that!

"Let's just go to Charlie's. He'll know where she is," Alice reassured me yet again.

Sarcasm was leaking out of my every word. "That's a great idea, Alice. Let's just waltz up to Charlie's and ask him where Bella is. He won't even ask us where we've been, or why we left his daughter. _Hell_, he won't bring out the baseball bat, either. _Great_ idea."

Alice scowled. "You know, for a mind reader, you really are an idiot. I meant read his mind to see where he is. He'd got to know where she is."

If this had been under any other circumstance, I would have taken the time to apologize to Alice, but there wasn't time and I really didn't care. There would be time to apologize later. Maybe.

I didn't wait for any further explanation. Without warning, I took off in the direction of Charlie's. Even though I hadn't been to Forks in months, I remembered every little, insignificant street, house, and building. It was like I'd never left.

I flinched at the thought, realizing how better off both Bella and I would have been if I never left her in the first place. If I continued living after this, I would never forgive myself.

Alice caught up to me soon asfter I took off. Realizing I was going slower than usual - Alice usualy didn't have a prayer of catching me - I picked up the pace and ran faster than ever before.

We reached the house in less than a minute. It turned out to be very convenient that there were such thick woods that stretched all the way to Bella's.

Alice and I stopped a few hundred yards away from the house. Alice remained completely still and silent, allowing me to listen for Charlie. He was on the ground floor, in the kitchen perhaps. It seemed odd that he wasn't watching any form of a sports game. Maybe he was cooking dinner for himself and Bella.

Wrong. Bella always cooked the meals. Where was she?

_Hope Jake gets Bella back in before this storm hits. Looks pretty bad… _Charlie's thoughts were clear as crystal, and that made me even more terrified about Alice not being able to find Bella's future. I took a fraction of a second to look up at the sky. Charlie was right, it looked like something big was coming. Quickly, I focused my thoughts back on Charlie.

_Hmph.. She said she was just hanging out with Jake today. Why hasn't she called? She should be home by now. Maybe I should call Billy._

Billy Black? The son of Ephraim Black? What was Charlie talking about? Who was Jake? The son of Billy, perhaps? Charlie's thoughts kept getting more and more uncomfortable to listen to. It was bad enough that I had to suffer with my own worries, but now I had listen to Charlie's, as well.

Charlie took a few minutes debating over whether to call Billy or not. _On one hand, it would be nice to have Bella home for dinner and talk to her, but on the other, she has such a good time with Jacob…_

I was not ready for what came next. Charlie flipped through an assortment of memories of Bella that I had missed. All of them occurring because of one stupid mistake. _My _stupid mistake.

Bella being brought to Charlie the night I left her in the woods. Bella locking herself in her room for a week and not coming out or talking to anyone. Bella waking up night after night, screaming from some terrible nightmare. She wasn't the same Bella that she was when I left her. I assumed the only reason she tired at all was because of Charlie. She wouldn't want him to get _too _worried . If only I was that noble. I couldn't even face my family until a month or so after leaving Bella.

The memories of Bella that Charlie thought of took me off guard. They terrified me, and I stumbled backwards into the forest until I reaches Alice.

"What's wrong?" She asked me quickly and quietly.

It took me a second to gather myself enough so that I could talk. "Bella. Charlie was thinking through memories of her soon after I left. They're horrible. I feel so wretched. There's no way she'll forgive me."

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes. "It'll be fine Edward. Don't worry," she assured me. I wished she would stop doing that.

The darkness started to overcome me. The darkness that I had been fighting from the second I told Bella goodbye. It seemed ridiculous to not give in to it now. Even if Bella didn't kill herself, she wouldn't take me back. I should've just gone to The Volturi and asked them to kill me, and have Alice save Bella. That seemed like the better option-the easier one.

Out of nowhere, Alice's hands slammed into me. The impact had me thrown into a nearby tree.

"Damn it, Alice! What the hell!" I hissed at her.

She scowled at me and shot me a furious look. "Edward Cullen, you are not going to ask the Volturi to kill you. Either way, you're coming back home. Think of what that would do to Carlisle and Esme, to me!"

I hadn't thought it through enough to involve Esme or Carlisle. "I'm sorry, Alice. That was inexcusable. Do you think we could talk about this later? We need to find Bella."

"Didn't you hear where she is?"

"No. All Charlie knows is that she's with a child named Jacob."

Alice looked confused. "_Jacob?_ Who is he?"

I sighed. "I think he's the grandson of Ephraim Black."

"Grandson? Then that means-"

I stopped Alice, already knowing what she was thinking. "Yes. He's a werewolf."

This put a new spin on things. Even if Bella didn't kill herself, her being with a werewolf was just as dangerous. I wondered if she knew he was a werewolf. Would it frighten her if she did know? Probably not, knowing Bella.

_That's easy, then. All we have to do is smell them out. Remember how bad werewolves smell?_

I cringed, knowing werewolves smelled terribly.

We ran together, until we entered La Push. It was vaguely familiar to me-it hadn't changed much in fifty years. The house that we found was Jacob's wasn't very far into the reservation, which made things convenient for Alice and I.

"Someone is inside. Listen and see."

Doing what my sister told me, I listened. There was a man watching television, and a teenager snoring. This teenager must be Jacob. But where was Bella.

I shot Alice a forceful glare. "Stay here," I whispered to her. All I needed to do was see if Bella's scent was in the front. Anything that resembled or belonged to Bella would help me tremendously.

As I walked passed the front of the house, I got a big whiff of wolf. It wasn't very pleasant. But as I walked further out into the open, I caught Bella's scent. Despite the hurry I was in, I stopped to take in her smell. I had missed it so much.

Alice danced to my side and took in the scene, as well.

"Do you see her truck?" she asked.

I surveyed the road, but saw nothing. I started scanning the street farther down the road, and saw a glimpse of a big red truck. It disappeared soon into the trees.

"Bella!" I yelled and took off.

Alice was a few yards behind me, keeping up better than I would have expected. She was more anxious than she led on. I would have looked into her mind to see if she'd seen anything more on Bella, but I was too fixated on the big red truck.

It took the two of us all of five seconds to catch up to the truck, but it was just the wrong time. It was headed into town, and if anyone on the reservation saw us, the elders would know about it, and they would know we broke the treaty.

"Let's wait here for a second," Alice suggested. She paused, and looked into the future. Though it bothered us even more right now that w couldn't see Bella, we both decided to wait until we would be out of town to chase Bella down.

We waited in the town for ten agonizing minutes. I barely had the patience to wait that long. Ten minutes used to feel like a second to me, but right then it felt like months.

Once we decided the truck was far enough away, we took off, tracking the scent of Bella and her truck. Every foot that I took made me happier and put more confidence in me. After this long, terrifying journey, my end destination was within my reach.

_Hm… odd that Bella would be driving this way… _Alice's thoughts caught my attention. I hadn't really been taking any notice to the scenery; I was extremely focused on Bella. As I heard Alice, I looked around.

Alice was right. We were on our way up the cliff that jutted out into the ocean. What is my Bella doing here?

I flinched at my thoughts, not used to using those words. Ever since I had left Bella, I'd tried as hard as possible to block her from my memory. Not because I truly wanted to forget her, just because when I thought of her the pain was almost too much to bear. Just hearing her name or speaking it made my knees weaken, which was quite a statement. These words gave me hope, but I didn't want to build up that hope just for it to be crushed. The pain would only be that much worse.

Before I got too wrapped up in my insane thoughts, I once again focused on the task at hand. Thinking about this and stopping to look around had definitely slowed us down. There was no time for stopping to take a break now. We were too close.

_Which way did she go? _Alice asked me as the wind picked up. Alice knew I was a better tracker than her, and the wind had thrown her off. Alice also knew how important it was that we didn't make any mistakes now. Mistakes could make or break us at this point.

For a fraction of a second, I stopped to make sure we were on the right path. We were. But as I looked up at the sky, I felt the confidence I had built up to was shrinking. There was a bad storm coming. A storm that Bella would get herself caught in the middle of, no doubt.

Without hesitating, I pointed straight and took off with Alice on my heels. She was growing more and more agitated, and that wasn't helping me. Earlier, I just let my thoughts focus around her calm ones, but with no calm thoughts to focus on, I realized truly how mad I was going.

A few seconds later, I could feel the trail get stronger. We were catching up.

We stopped a hundred or so yards away from the clearing. Covered by the thick bushes and trees, Alice and I could look out at our surroundings without a chance of being seen, human or not.

It took us a sixty-fourth of a second to find Bella. She was right at the edge of the cliff, just like the vision Alice had.

As soon as I saw her, there was nothing else. Just Bella. God, she was so beautiful. I could have kicked myself for picking such a terrible, wretched time to come back for her. How was it that I was such a coward I had to wait until her life was in danger to decide to come get her back?

But there wasn't time to hate myself. Bella was edging herself closer to the edge. I had to stop Bella from hurting herself. What should I say? Should I just walk right up-

That was it. Bella jumped. There was nothing I could do. I could feel what little I had left of my sanity drifting away. Or rather-getting thrown into a wall.

Alice threw herself out from the trees. It took her less than a second to reach the spot where Bella had jumped. She stared down, as if she was admiring the beautiful ocean. In half the time it took her to get over there, she was down in the water-I could hear her.

I was too stunned to move. If not for my dead arms, legs, and feet, I would have flown down to Alice. Instead, I watched the whole thing from Alice's eyes.

"Bella! Bella!" Alice cried.

Despite the fact that Bella was in the process of drowning, she heard Alice. Odd, how even at a time like this, she was so alert. "Alice?" Bella barely managed. Her throat was beginning to fill with water.

I couldn't take it any longer. In half the time it had taken Alice to get to Bella, I was down in the water next to my reason for existing. Swimming was just like walking for us-it was second nature. So I didn't have much of a problem getting to Bella.

I could tell her mouth was growing drier by the second. Why couldn't I just rip her out of the water and save her? Her attempts to stay above the water were becoming very feeble.

I put my arms around her, and even though the water was freezing, I could tell the shock of my cold skin startled her.

She looked me in the eyes, and it looked like she had a panic attack. She started to hyperventilate, despite her lack of air. That couldn't be good.

"…Edward…?" she choked.

There wasn't time to answer. A few seconds later, she was laid out on the dry beach. It wouldn't be dry for long, though, I decided as I looked up at the arriving storm.

Alice and I noticed at the same time. Bella had stopped breathing.

"Bella! BELLA!" I growled so loud the dead could hear me.

"Stay with us, Bella. Stay." Alice's voice was firm and assertive, but it didn't take much to hear the break in her words. The odds didn't look good for Bella.

Like a reflex, I started to perform CPR on Bella. It didn't take me long to realize I was pounding on her chest harder than necessary.

It started to rain, then. And soon after it started pouring. But I kept up with Bella's heart; trying to keep it beating for her.

Alice didn't say much. She stood by my side, and held a firm grip on my wrist. Harder than she needed to, I thought, as I realized the pressure of her hold would snap the arm of a human. Hearing her thoughts were worse than listening to my own.

_Oh, God… we were too late. How could I be so stupid? I should have seen Bella about to jump! I'll never forgive myself for this. What about Edward? What will he do? Edward, please don't run off. Please stay with me. Stay with _us_._ Alice put an extra emphasis on the "us" to let me know that she hadn't completely given up.

I ignored her, for the time being. I wasn't making any promises I didn't intend to keep. All there was to think about was Bella. I had to keep her heart beating. I owed her that much, right?

Seconds passed. Quickly, those seconds turned into minutes. Hell, we could have been standing out there in the pouring rain for hours and I wouldn't have noticed. There had never been a time when I had been in so much denial.

Finally, when she couldn't take it any longer, Alice spoke. Her words were soft, buy lingered with authority.

"Edward. Stop."

With an icy look, I glared at her. My mind wasn't capable of letting go. Not when it came to something that precious and dear to me.

"Edward. She's gone." Alice was trying to be strong, for me, but I knew better. It would be just seconds before she broke into tearless sobs. And soon those sobs would take over her completely. They would take me in, too.

On the plane here, I had begun to imagine what it would actually be like, to loose my reason for living. All of my assumptions about what I would feel like after were wrong. I felt worse. Much, mush worse.

Alice was on her feet, wanting to get far away from Bella's corpse for the time being. But I wouldn't move. I wasn't going anywhere.

I didn't say a word to Alice. I hadn't even spoken for what felt like hours.

Alice could walk away. She could leave me, too. I didn't care.

All there was to do was sob. I threw myself on top of Bella's body and wept tearlessly. I soon realized that I wasn't lying on Bella completely-I was supporting most of my weight. I was so used to having to be careful with her. But that wasn't necessary anymore. I'd already done the worst thing possible you could do to anyone. Let alone the woman you loved.

Nothing was real. It was almost like I wasn't letting myself even realize she was dead; like she would wake up any second and yell at me to get off her. Her never coming back wasn't even a possibility to me. It was impossible.

Hours went by, and I was sure they were hours because I sat through the entire monsoon-with Bella under me- and well into the night. As I sat there, I began to think. It was incredible that I even had room to think. Even for a mind as big as mine, there was only so much room left over after all my misery and helplessness took its place.

This was all my fault. Bella was really gone. Now I had the weight of others' grief to carry around on my shoulders, as well. Charlie. Renee. My family. The unsuspecting kids at school. Jacob.

A terrifying thought hit me. Who would tell all those people about Bella? Or more importantly-_what_ would they tell them? One could only imagine…

And then I thought back to happier times, that only made me more depressed and hate myself more. Times when things were simple. When Bella was alive.

Bella the first day of school. Her rosy cheeks when she got mad at me in the emergency room after I saved her life for the first time. I flinched-thinking to my reason for grieving right then. Bella and I in the meadow, at her house. Watching Bella sleep all those nights. Sitting with her at lunch every day. Finding her in Port Angeles. Her birthday. The day I left her.

I stopped there, not wanting to hurt myself more than I was already hurting.

But wasn't that besides the point? After today, I was going to hurt more than I had ever hurt before. More than when I'd left Bella. I would take that pain a thousand times harder now and be grateful.

More time went by, but I barely noticed. There really wasn't a point in keeping track. After I had enough strength to get myself over to Italy, my suffering would be over and [hopefully] I would be in a better, happier place. Maybe even a place where Bella existed. That was all there was to wish for.

Even more time passed, but the pain never let up or weakened. Wasn't there a limit to how much pain could be delivered to one single person in a day? Or did I not apply to that rule? There was only so much a person could handle without collapsing into pieces.

Without actually realizing it, I let out an ear piercing scream that shook the earth. People down in Forks would be able to hear me. Screaming didn't really make me feel any better, it just relieved me of some tension-I'd stopped myself from letting out a word from the moment I realized Bella had died.

Under me, I could feel the earth shake. But, after a moment, I realized it wasn't Bella-it was me. How long had I been shaking uncontrollably like this? Probably longer than I expected.

Despite my situation, I let out the most ridiculous chuckle the world had ever seen. My only explanation for the chuckle was that I was going crazy. If only there was a way for someone like me to get better. To recover.

But there wasn't. And that's where The Volturi came in. They would laugh at me when I explained to them my reason for requesting them to kill me. It didn't matter, though, I wouldn't have to sit through their laughter for very long. And if they didn't want to kill me, well, I would just have to go to plan B.

Darkly, I wondered what someone would think if they just happened to be walking around these cliffs, and saw me weeping over this lifeless corpse? Would they think I killed her? Would they think it was an accident or on purpose? God, all the rumors…

It wasn't much longer until I heard someone-or something-in the woods. Instincitively, I cradled Bella's body in my arms and crouched into the best defensive position possible with her in my arms.

Whoever was coming was getting closer. I was too out of it to think to look into the mind of whatever was coming-there wasn't a point in doing that, either. If they even had a chance of killing me, I would just let them. It would save a lot of time and money.

Before whatever came walked out into the clearing that we were in, I growled the most deafening growl I could manage. That would definitely be enough to scare off any curious or brave creatures.

_Whoa, Edward! Calm down, it's just us._ I didn't feel like figuring out who said it out of them.

Instantly, I felt ashamed and embarrassed. It was bad enough to have had Alice with me to witness Bella's death, but now to have my entire family here to try to comfort me? That was enough to make me go even more insane, which I doubted was possible.

It was surprising to see Alice with them. Everyone was mourning, as well, but it had hit Alice and I the hardest. We had been there.

_Holy shit! Edward looks like crap. God, he is torn up! Poor guy._ Emmett, of course, didn't even have the decency to control his thoughts for me at a time like this. I knew I was being harsh, but he had to understand there was only so much I could take.

_This is worse than I thought. He looks terrible. What will we tell Charlie? There will be so many rumors going around the town and reservation… especially with the wolves…_ When I took into effect the individual thoughts of every one of my family members, I liked Carlisle's the best. They were the least painful.

_Oh, Edward! My Edward! I wish there was something I could do! My poor baby! He'll be heartbroken forever! It will be worse than last time. Much worse. _Oddly, Esme's thoughts were the most painful to listen to. No one should feel sorry for me. The killer. I didn't deserve her selflessness.

Alice and Esme walked up to me swiftly, and knelt down next to me.

"Edward, honey, it's okay. Are you alright?" This was Esme speaking.

I wanted to shout at her, 'Do you think I'm alright?! I just killed the only reason I'm still living! Hell no, I'm not alright!' but decided against it.

I knew if I spoke a word, I would start screaming again. Or start sobbing even harder. All I had the strength to do was shake my head. I would never again be alright.

Rose walked closer to me, and bent down to my left. "Edward, sweetheart. You have to let her go." It was the sweetest tone I'd heard from Rose in decades-possibly since I first met her. I wanted to get defensive and ask her what she would do if she killed Emmett, but I soon realized what she actually meant. In my strong grasp was Bella's body. The one thing that was more important to me than my own life.

Instead of listening to Rose and letting go, I tightened my grip.

Jasper walked closer to me. To my surprise, he didn't instantly use his extra ability to make me more calm. _Edward, do you want me to help you feel better? _He questioned? I appreciated that he had the decency to ask me.

Still not speaking, I shook my head.

"What should we do with her- body?" Rose asked Carlisle, having trouble speaking. I was glad I wasn't the only one.

Carlisle stood still, puzzling over an answer. "It'll be hard to make anything look real or plausible. We'll have to think of a really good lie."

Even though I knew it was better not to, I had to argue with Carlisle. I was afraid my voice would scare a few of my family members away, but I had to get this out. "No!" I growled. And, when every member of my family looked at me in shock, I explained. "Why can't we just tell the truth? That it's my fault she drowned?"

Carlisle closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "No, Edward. You deserve better."

"Fuck no, I don't!" I shrieked at him. "It's my fault Bella's dead! Mine! Just tell the whole goddamn town that it was Edward-the vampire-who killed Bella Swan! The idiot who took the life of the one true person he ever loved!

"No, Carlisle. I deserve anything and everything that can be thrown at me. If I'm lucky, I'll be chased out of town with pitch forks and torches. Maybe the Volturi will come down to check up on Bella soon, and will kill me for some reason."

Incredibly, Esme's face got even more white. _Edward, no! You _cannot_ do that to me! You won't!_

Without really meaning to, I rolled my eyes at Esme. "I know how you feel, Esme. If it wasn't for you, I'd already be on the plane to Italy!"

My words shocked every member of my family, excluding Alice. She still stood there, staring at Bella's lifeless body. Her silence intrigued me, so I listened in.

She replayed Bella's death over and over in her head, trying to figure out what she could have down to save her. I was wrong-Esme's thoughts weren't the worst of my family's. _Oh, God… The cliff! And the water! I should have swam faster… Bella would still be alive. Edward wouldn't be about to kill himself right now. Bella… is really- dead. Imagine what this will do to Edward in the future… our family…_

I winced at her thoughts. "Alice, please," I begged her, talking just above a whisper.

"Sorry," she barely whispered back to me. She turned her back to me then, as if she was trying to block me from seeing her face. She was right-I didn't want to see her cry tearlessly.

Jazz and Em walked up to me, then. Jasper's face took on a very odd emotion. Confusion mixed with pain, worry, and hesitation. He was always tense and hesitant in awkward, painful environments, and he had never quite encountered a situation like this.

Emmett also had a pain look on his face. Not only was he grieving for Bella, but he was also upset about Rose. Upset about her reaction to Bella's death. He disliked her pain more than his.

They walked swiftly over to me, and each of them grabbed on of my hands. In one quick movement, they had my clenched hands free of Bella's body. I promised her I would never let her go.

Just a fraction of a second later, they had me up on my feet.

"It's okay, Edward. We'll get you home," Emmett reassured me.

But I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted time to freeze everyone but me-so I could grieve alone for however long I deserved without having anyone suffer with me.

In other ways, I was grateful they offered to take me home. The run wouldn't be too long, but what was I supposed to do when we got home? Things would never go back to the way they used to be.

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